True North, Zoe: How Parenthood Rewires Our Core Values

Explore how the transformative experience of becoming a parent can fundamentally reshape our value system and worldview.

What you'll learn:

• How life-changing events like parenthood can trigger a profound reevaluation of core values

• The concept of the "value stack" and its role in personal growth

• A simple technique to harness pivotal life moments for intentional living

The Story: A Song's Unexpected Lesson

Today marks a double celebration: my daughter Zoe turns 3, and a song I wrote for her before she was born, "True North, Zoe," makes its debut on Spotify. But the real story isn't in the lyrics or the melody—it's in the seismic shift that creating this song represented in my life.

When I sat down to write "True North, Zoe," I thought I was crafting a message for my unborn child. What I didn't realize was that I was standing on the precipice of a profound personal transformation. The act of writing this song was one of the first tangible moments where I grappled with the immense responsibility and joy of impending fatherhood.

As I penned lyrics about self-love, courage, and staying true to oneself, I was unknowingly setting the stage for my own journey of self-discovery and value reassessment. The song became not just a gift for Zoe, but a marker of the man I was and the father I was becoming.

Now, three years later, as this song steps into the open, I'm struck by how differently I understand its creation. It wasn't just about the words or the tune—it was about the profound shift happening within me as I prepared to become a father.

The Insight: The Value Stack Rewritten

Becoming a parent, much like embarking on an entrepreneurial journey, catapults us into uncharted territories. It challenges every preconception we hold about ourselves and the world. Through this transformative experience, I've come to understand what I call the "value stack":

1. Values: Our fundamental beliefs about what's truly important.

2. Principles: The guidelines we craft based on these values.

3. Virtues: The visible behaviors that bloom when we live our values and principles.

(Shoutout to my friend Julian Hourrier—I might have stolen this from him.)

Parenthood didn't just add to my value stack—it rewired it entirely. Priorities I once held dear were suddenly reordered. New values emerged, surprising me with their intensity. The experience pushed me to embrace life in its full spectrum—professional ambitions, personal growth, and creative expression all intertwining in ways I hadn't imagined before.

My purpose crystallized: to foster full expression not just in my child, but in everyone around me, helping them unfurl their unique essence. This shift rippled through every aspect of my life, influencing my approach as an entrepreneur, my personal relationships, and my relationship with myself.

Your Quick Win: Build Your Mini Value Stack

Let's put the value stack concept into action with a simple, powerful exercise:

1. Choose a Catalyst Moment: Think of a recent significant life event or role (like becoming a parent, starting a business, or taking on a new challenge).

2. Identify a Value: Set a timer for 1 minute. Quickly jot down how this experience has changed what's important to you. Pick the most significant change.

3. Create a Principle: Take 1 minute to write a simple rule or guideline based on this value. For example, if your new value is "presence," your principle might be "Put my phone away during family time."

4. Envision a Virtue: Spend 1 minute imagining how living this value and principle would look in your daily life. What specific behavior would others notice?

5. Make it Visible: Write your mini value stack (Value -> Principle -> Virtue) on a sticky note or in your phone's notes app.

6. Daily Check-in: For the next week, review your mini value stack each morning. Reflect on how you can embody it that day.

This quick exercise helps you consciously evolve one part of your value system in response to life's significant moments. It's a small step towards more intentional living, inspired by the transformative power of experiences like parenthood.

Every pivotal moment is an opportunity to refine who we are and how we live.

What's your mini value stack? Please share it with me!